There are days when everything goes haywire, and things spin utterly out of control. And then sometimes,You go haywire and spin utterly out of control.But then there is the one time when you almost steal a rickshaw, set your sink on fire and short circuit an entire boys hostel.
Yes, these are the times when you give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge teen yar, Aap main aur ............. '
The day started as any other would in a hostel , at around one in the afternoon, and was planned to the T. And then someone said alcohol, girls and some place one would find both.
Cut to 11 in the night: 4 guys sitting in a pub and trying to figure out if they really did drink as much as the bill said they did. And then it began...
In Pune, if you tell the auto guys that you want to reach a particular institute before midnight, they assume you are one of those 'My dad is an ATM' kids and very pleasantly charge about twice the rate. They tell us they have no choice,really.And they like raw tobacco. So when this guy had to stop for a couple of minutes to buy the needful, a good friend decided we didn't need him anymore. That we can drive the goddamn auto ourselves.
Guy 1: Saala bhen*%#$ , kahan mara raha hai
Guy 2 : tambacu kharid raha hai be
Guy 3: toh hum kya kar rahe hai, baarah se pehle paunchna hai!
Guy 4: Chal fir, chalte hai
*gets on in the front
*starts the thing and woah!
Guy4(laughing) :abe ye tho scooter jaisa hai.
Auto guy(running) : Ruko! Ruko!
Guy3: Oi! ruk saale piche bhaag raha wo
Guy4: Saale abhi toh ro raha tha hostel jaana hai!
Guys 1, 2 &3 start tugging at 4. and he finally decides he didn't like the Auto.
Auto guy(after about 100 feet from the shop and a couple of minutes of panting) :Kya bhaiya , aap log?!
Guy2: Sorry bhaiya, piya hua hai. Paagal hai.
Half hour later in the hostel room*
Guy1 to Guy4: abe muje sona nahi hai, tu bhi mat so.
Guy4: Abe nikalo isko bahar!
Guy 3(abruptly): Acha , hookah pada hai?
Guy2: Coal kaise jalaenge?
Guy1: Mere pass idea hai!!
The next day all of us really wished guy 3 had let 1and 4 go on with our conversation. Hua ye...
2: abe bhen*#%$, paper kyu nikal raha hai?
2:Isme kaise jallega
1:It's a simple three step process
1:step one, take coal
1:step two, put coal in paper
*puts coal in paper
1:set paper on fire
*sets paper on fire
2:Abe paagal hai kya?Kya kar raha hai?
1:Haath jal raha saale!haath jal raha hai!
*runs around the room, finds the sink, dumps the whole thing in it
3(lookin at the fire):abe ye kya hai?
2:**&^$##!, aag jal rahi hai, dikh nahi raha?
2 to 1:abe bahar kyu nahi leke gaya?!
4(Comes in running): Abe ye kya hai?
And now comes into the scene, guy5 (Guy2's roommate), a guy who(by of the youth of this progressing nation) would be described as ' always stoned'
5:dhua kaha se aa raha hai?!
4: 1 ne room ko aag laga di
5: abe us ********* ko aane kisne diya mere room main.saala hamesha ********* karta hai!
5 to 1: abe oo ******, kya soch raha tha?
1 panics and pours in the first liquid he could find into the fire.Half a bottle of Coconut oil.
by this time, the fire had almost reached half the distance to the ceiling and had gone off, turning the white sink into the exact opposite of it's former color.
5 to 1: saaf , karke jaana
1(sighs): teek hai .
5 returns to his bed and decides he'd like some alcohol. Gets some and pours it in a glass
3:Yar, rum hai? whiskey jaati nahi hai.
We really don't remember how long we did the peena for, the next thing was all of us getting up coughing.
3:ab kya jal raha hai?
3:saalo tum log wapas coal jalaa rahe ho?!
*1,2,3,4 put out the flame and go back to sleep. 5 couldn't be bothered again
What really happened though was, a glass of whiskey that was left alone had some how found its way from the table to the ground, and on the ground was an extension board which sparked up and said hello to the Kotler(also on the ground).
The next day we found out that at around the same time that we saved the Kotler. All the lights in the hostel had gone off. No one to this day knows why....
Posted by rahul nair