Me, We.

There are times when I want to shout out that all of you are jackasses just cause I am one. And then I remember someone quoted Bill hicks saying 'we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.'
I guess that makes us all Jackasses. I am quite content with that.

The reason for my contempt of the world today really stems from my own desperate call for attention,and the realization that I am turning into nothing more than the mediocre, but I think I will just add it to the list of consequent happenings when the world does not stay the better place it once used to be. I sometimes do realize that I am drained of all charm and have stopped being an endearing entity a long time ago ( If I ever was one) but it's just so much easier to claim that people who don't like me don't deserve me. Goes well with my ego, goes well with the few who have still not left and definitely goes well with my very strong intent for remaining a pin headed wimp. Yea well, at least I can still go back and scream at my mom. She will never leave me.  Or maybe everyone'll want to be with me when I star in a rock band. I'll show them one day.

I think I have a very weird life going on right now. My work is something that I don't get paid much for even though 
I do work well. Just as much as the guy before me , and just as much I am supposed to. Yes, I watch funny videos online almost all day, take a 2 hour lunch break and smoke a lonely cigarette thinking about where it's all going to go. But the point remains that it is my right to not make things better and crib about it.

Hey! Everyone does it! 
You can't really ask much more of freshly out college graduate who is really sad he doesn't get to drink as much with the few girls who he thinks used to like him. Nor can you reason with the guy who used to watch a lot of movies he thought can really change the meaning of human existence. When it comes to me, you just have to accept the fact that real life is not as inspiring as a footballing video or a rap song. It doesn't pack much of a punch. 

Well then, I guess I'll just sit here , looking at the rain and hoping that the next girl I make friends with notices I am a lot more intelligent than the average guy, that I can buy her a drink and have a bike , and that is all she would ever want.
And then maybe, I'll think about coming up with a facebook update or quote something everybody likes cause they think they relate to it. Maybe something like 'Life is so simple. Why do we make it so complicated.' 
I already can name a few who will like that. That feels good.

But do remember, I am not just me. I am us. After all Bill Hicks was 'Cursed with Vision' and that holds. Even though I have no bloody idea as to what it means.

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