Me, We.

There are times when I want to shout out that all of you are jackasses just cause I am one. And then I remember someone quoted Bill hicks saying 'we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.'
I guess that makes us all Jackasses. I am quite content with that.

The reason for my contempt of the world today really stems from my own desperate call for attention,and the realization that I am turning into nothing more than the mediocre, but I think I will just add it to the list of consequent happenings when the world does not stay the better place it once used to be. I sometimes do realize that I am drained of all charm and have stopped being an endearing entity a long time ago ( If I ever was one) but it's just so much easier to claim that people who don't like me don't deserve me. Goes well with my ego, goes well with the few who have still not left and definitely goes well with my very strong intent for remaining a pin headed wimp. Yea well, at least I can still go back and scream at my mom. She will never leave me.  Or maybe everyone'll want to be with me when I star in a rock band. I'll show them one day.

I think I have a very weird life going on right now. My work is something that I don't get paid much for even though I do work well. Just as much as the guy before me , and just as much I am supposed to. Yes, I watch funny videos online almost all day, take a 2 hour lunch break and smoke a lonely cigarette thinking about where it's all going to go. But the point remains that it is my right to not make things better and crib about it.
Hey! Everyone does it! 
You can't really ask much more of freshly out college graduate who is really sad he doesn't get to drink as much with the few girls who he thinks used to like him. Nor can you reason with the guy who used to watch a lot of movies he thought can really change the meaning of human existence. When it comes to me, you just have to accept the fact that real life is not as inspiring as a footballing video or a rap song. It doesn't pack much of a punch. 


Well then, I guess I'll just sit here , looking at the rain and hoping that the next girl I make friends with notices I am a lot more intelligent than the average guy, that I can buy her a drink and have a bike , and that is all she would ever want.
And then maybe, I'll think about coming up with a facebook update or quote something everybody likes cause they think they relate to it. Maybe something like 'Life is so simple. Why do we make it so complicated.' 
I already can name a few who will like that. That feels good.

But do remember, I am not just me. I am us. After all Bill Hicks was 'Cursed with Vision' and that holds. Even though I have no bloody idea as to what it means.

Defiant me

The million lines I write

do quite not utter my words

and the thousand listening ears

do all but learn my thoughts

The million hearts I chased

were all without love to give

for the thousand dreams that died

were mine and mine alone

The faces million I crossed

won't remember me at all

cause the thousand lives I shared

did not count for a lot

I stare, I know

I see you now

Oh life, as you ought to be
but never do think

I'll give you up

or on the defiant me


The best part about life is that it doesn't seem to have a last. Neither words or dreams.

Take a stroll, tonight

Take a stroll, my friend
Take a stroll, by the night
by the love you lived,

and the love you lied
by the wrongs you've led,

and the blissful rights
take a stroll, tonight.

Flash warehoused memories
by the roadside light

Sketch distant dreams
in a struggling mind
with the moon above,

and the silent skies
take a stroll tonight

Listen to the leaves

whisper Goodbyes
Talk to the pavement,

building squares for your strides

Turn around the corner,
make your own surprise

take a stroll tonight

The wooden bench is waiting
The flower park is life

Green by the shadows

Green by the light
Pick up a reminiscent

from those drunk delights
take a stroll tonight.


Image*Google

A Long time ago

There were lessons about her he just couldn't get hold of.Lessons he had come to learn but just couldn't find the reason behind. She was a lover,a friend,a mother.Someone who helped explore dimensions he never knew existed in his version of life, love and humanity.

And yet, he couldn't find the logic, and logic was telling him he should slip out.

The laugh was when he sensed perfection for the first time.He hadn't even looked.There was only sound, and it was perfect.He didn't need to look, he knew.

And now, he was looking at her, standing there, sobbing.

She had wanted to talk. She said they had to. It wasn't the right order of things to just fall apart when it was still summer.Autumn, she said, was the real test. The white dress nearly kissed the ground, which seemed to have risen up to love her back. He couldn't help notice the ground looked happy.She was beautiful and sad. An angel in all her grace .

Angel: We need to talk. If you would just let me know.

Man: There is nothing you can help with. I'm tired now.

Angel:Tired of what?Tired is for me to say.

Man: Yes, it is.And I'm waiting for you to say it, but you just will not, will you? I am waiting for you to go away. I'm tired of all the explaining and the needing. I want to be me now, I do not want a part of you.

Angel: And that is what has always been, You have always been you. I just help you stay you.I thought you knew.

Man:You don't understand.You will leave one day. Look down upon me, filled up by my woes and pleasures that you would want to let go of.Soon, it will all be too much for you and you shall fly away.You will want to fly because you can and I can't.

Angel: I don't see why you say that.You don't understand me, never have.I am a much bigger entity than you. Can't you see?

Man:I do.I also see that as the reason you stayed and listened, but even you can't hold all of me. I will spill, and you shall look away with sadness and disgust. An end is inevitable.

Angel:You will miss me, and I you. Please don't do this.It doesn't have to be. I can stay.I want to.

Man: I want you to too, but I need you to leave. I want to be standing,and I won't be if you carry me all the time and fly.I shall fall hard.I want to jump before you get too high.

Angel:Please do not.If you jump now, I'll fall down too. The bruise would show on my fair skin.

Man: I have thought enough, and I see, I am and am not,the center of my Universe.I have to be so,to exist. You come after.

*She doesn't understand.He has to do this.To be.To keep her beautiful in his mind.Always.

If I am already too high

And I die tonight

Come pick me up, Come cry
Tell me that you loved me

Stay by my side

Sing for some time

If I die tonight.

Shrugs*

There are days when everything goes haywire, and things spin utterly out of control. And then sometimes,You go haywire and spin utterly out of control.But then there is the one time when you almost steal a rickshaw, set your sink on fire and short circuit an entire boys hostel.

Yes, these are the times when you give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge teen yar, Aap main aur ............. '

The day started as any other would in a hostel , at around one in the afternoon, and was planned to the T. And then someone said alcohol, girls and some place one would find both.
Cut to 11 in the night: 4 guys sitting in a pub and trying to figure out if they really did drink as much as the bill said they did. And then it began...

In Pune, if you tell the auto guys that you want to reach a particular institute before midnight, they assume you are one of those 'My dad is an ATM' kids and very pleasantly charge about twice the rate. They tell us they have no choice,really.And they like raw tobacco. So when this guy had to stop for a couple of minutes to buy the needful, a good friend decided we didn't need him anymore. That we can drive the goddamn auto ourselves.

Guy 1: Saala bhen*%#$ , kahan mara raha hai
Guy 2 : tambacu kharid raha hai be
Guy 3: toh hum kya kar rahe hai, baarah se pehle paunchna hai!
Guy 4: Chal fir, chalte hai

*gets off
*gets on in the front
*starts the thing and woah!

Guy4(laughing) :abe ye tho scooter jaisa hai.

Auto guy(running) : Ruko! Ruko!

Guy3: Oi! ruk saale piche bhaag raha wo
Guy4: Saale abhi toh ro raha tha hostel jaana hai!

Guys 1, 2 &3 start tugging at 4. and he finally decides he didn't like the Auto.

Auto guy(after about 100 feet from the shop and a couple of minutes of panting) :Kya bhaiya , aap log?!

Guy2: Sorry bhaiya, piya hua hai. Paagal hai.

Half hour later in the hostel room*

Guy1 to Guy4: abe muje sona nahi hai, tu bhi mat so.
Guy4: Abe nikalo isko bahar!
Guy 3(abruptly): Acha , hookah pada hai?
*silence

*silence

Guy2: Coal kaise jalaenge?
Guy1: Mere pass idea hai!!

The next day all of us really wished guy 3 had let 1and 4 go on with our conversation. Hua ye...

2: abe bhen*#%$, paper kyu nikal raha hai?
1:coal jaalane
2:Isme kaise jallega
1:It's a simple three step process

1:step one, take coal
*takes coal
1:step two, put coal in paper
*puts coal in paper
1:set paper on fire
*sets paper on fire

2:Abe paagal hai kya?Kya kar raha hai?
1:Haath jal raha saale!haath jal raha hai!

*runs around the room, finds the sink, dumps the whole thing in it

3(lookin at the fire):abe ye kya hai?
2:**&^$##!, aag jal rahi hai, dikh nahi raha?
2 to 1:abe bahar kyu nahi leke gaya?!
4(Comes in running): Abe ye kya hai?

And now comes into the scene, guy5 (Guy2's roommate), a guy who(by of the youth of this progressing nation) would be described as ' always stoned'

5:dhua kaha se aa raha hai?!
4: 1 ne room ko aag laga di
5: abe us ********* ko aane kisne diya mere room main.saala hamesha ********* karta hai!
5 to 1: abe oo ******, kya soch raha tha?

1 panics and pours in the first liquid he could find into the fire.Half a bottle of Coconut oil.


by this time, the fire had almost reached half the distance to the ceiling and had gone off, turning the white sink into the exact opposite of it's former color.

5 to 1: saaf , karke jaana
1(sighs): teek hai .

5 returns to his bed and decides he'd like some alcohol. Gets some and pours it in a glass

5:Peeoge?
*silence

*silence

3:Yar, rum hai? whiskey jaati nahi hai.

We really don't remember how long we did the peena for, the next thing was all of us getting up coughing.

3:ab kya jal raha hai?
2:meri Kotler!
3:saalo tum log wapas coal jalaa rahe ho?!

*1,2,3,4 put out the flame and go back to sleep. 5 couldn't be bothered again

What really happened though was, a glass of whiskey that was left alone had some how found its way from the table to the ground, and on the ground was an extension board which sparked up and said hello to the Kotler(also on the ground).

The next day we found out that at around the same time that we saved the Kotler. All the lights in the hostel had gone off. No one to this day knows why....



*Image Google

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There are roles played to me

by them , I call my friends as are
And yet, there is an act , a say
That no one seems for me, to play.

I seem not able to read it in words, learnt
Nor find it counsel seeked
It seems to have walked away just

From drunken mirth, and calming love

I am failing, falling

under the beautiful blue today
Sailing skywards at a promise made
by the tempting moon, and the treacherous wind.

And still, at the end
I hope to find, what I was looking for
Though I know not of its color
Though I know not of its place

There are roles played to me

by them , I call my friends as are
And yet, there is an act , a say
That no one seems for me, to play.

Call me your Leader

I'll take you there, follow blind

To a place unknown, just fall behind

Call me your leader, come tread along

I'll steal your mind and sing you a song

Call me your Leader, just fall behind

*image Google