A Paper Boat

A Long time ago

2012-01-23T03:24:00.000-08:00

There were lessons about her he just couldn't get hold of.Lessons he had come to learn but just couldn't find the reason behind. She was a lover,a friend,a mother.Someone who helped explore dimensions he never knew existed in his version of life, love and humanity.

And yet, he couldn't find the logic, and logic was telling him he should slip out.

The laugh was when he sensed perfection for the first time.He hadn't even looked.There was only sound, and it was perfect.He didn't need to look, he knew.

And now, he was looking at her, standing there, sobbing.

She had wanted to talk. She said they had to. It wasn't the right order of things to just fall apart when it was still summer.Autumn, she said, was the real test. The white dress nearly kissed the ground, which seemed to have risen up to love her back. He couldn't help notice the ground looked happy.She was beautiful and sad. An angel in all her grace .

Angel: We need to talk. If you would just let me know.

Man: There is nothing you can help with. I'm tired now.

Angel:Tired of what?Tired is for me to say.

Man: Yes, it is.And I'm waiting for you to say it, but you just will not, will you? I am waiting for you to go away. I'm tired of all the explaining and the needing. I want to be me now, I do not want a part of you.

Angel: And that is what has always been, You have always been you. I just help you stay you.I thought you knew.

Man:You don't understand.You will leave one day. Look down upon me, filled up by my woes and pleasures that you would want to let go of.Soon, it will all be too much for you and you shall fly away.You will want to fly because you can and I can't.

Angel: I don't see why you say that.You don't understand me, never have.I am a much bigger entity than you. Can't you see?

Man:I do.I also see that as the reason you stayed and listened, but even you can't hold all of me. I will spill, and you shall look away with sadness and disgust. An end is inevitable.

Angel:You will miss me, and I you. Please don't do this.It doesn't have to be. I can stay.I want to.

Man: I want you to too, but I need you to leave. I want to be standing,and I won't be if you carry me all the time and fly.I shall fall hard.I want to jump before you get too high.

Angel:Please do not.If you jump now, I'll fall down too. The bruise would show on my fair skin.

Man: I have thought enough, and I see, I am and am not,the center of my Universe.I have to be so,to exist. You come after.

*She doesn't understand.He has to do this.To be.To keep her beautiful in his mind.Always.

If I am already too high

And I die tonight

Come pick me up, Come cry
Tell me that you loved me

Stay by my side

Sing for some time

If I die tonight.

Shrugs*

2011-12-27T11:07:00.000-08:00

There are days when everything goes haywire, and things spin utterly out of control. And then sometimes,You go haywire and spin utterly out of control.But then there is the one time when you almost steal a rickshaw, set your sink on fire and short circuit an entire boys hostel.

Yes, these are the times when you give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Khoob jamega rang jab mil baithenge teen yar, Aap main aur ............. '

The day started as any other would in a hostel , at around one in the afternoon, and was planned to the T. And then someone said alcohol, girls and some place one would find both.
Cut to 11 in the night: 4 guys sitting in a pub and trying to figure out if they really did drink as much as the bill said they did. And then it began...

In Pune, if you tell the auto guys that you want to reach a particular institute before midnight, they assume you are one of those 'My dad is an ATM' kids and very pleasantly charge about twice the rate. They tell us they have no choice,really.And they like raw tobacco. So when this guy had to stop for a couple of minutes to buy the needful, a good friend decided we didn't need him anymore. That we can drive the goddamn auto ourselves.

Guy 1: Saala bhen*%#$ , kahan mara raha hai
Guy 2 : tambacu kharid raha hai be
Guy 3: toh hum kya kar rahe hai, baarah se pehle paunchna hai!
Guy 4: Chal fir, chalte hai

*gets off
*gets on in the front
*starts the thing and woah!

Guy4(laughing) :abe ye tho scooter jaisa hai.

Auto guy(running) : Ruko! Ruko!

Guy3: Oi! ruk saale piche bhaag raha wo
Guy4: Saale abhi toh ro raha tha hostel jaana hai!

Guys 1, 2 &3 start tugging at 4. and he finally decides he didn't like the Auto.

Auto guy(after about 100 feet from the shop and a couple of minutes of panting) :Kya bhaiya , aap log?!

Guy2: Sorry bhaiya, piya hua hai. Paagal hai.

Half hour later in the hostel room*

Guy1 to Guy4: abe muje sona nahi hai, tu bhi mat so.
Guy4: Abe nikalo isko bahar!
Guy 3(abruptly): Acha , hookah pada hai?
*silence

*silence

Guy2: Coal kaise jalaenge?
Guy1: Mere pass idea hai!!

The next day all of us really wished guy 3 had let 1and 4 go on with our conversation. Hua ye...

2: abe bhen*#%$, paper kyu nikal raha hai?
1:coal jaalane
2:Isme kaise jallega
1:It's a simple three step process

1:step one, take coal
*takes coal
1:step two, put coal in paper
*puts coal in paper
1:set paper on fire
*sets paper on fire

2:Abe paagal hai kya?Kya kar raha hai?
1:Haath jal raha saale!haath jal raha hai!

*runs around the room, finds the sink, dumps the whole thing in it

3(lookin at the fire):abe ye kya hai?
2:**&^$##!, aag jal rahi hai, dikh nahi raha?
2 to 1:abe bahar kyu nahi leke gaya?!
4(Comes in running): Abe ye kya hai?

And now comes into the scene, guy5 (Guy2's roommate), a guy who(by of the youth of this progressing nation) would be described as ' always stoned'

5:dhua kaha se aa raha hai?!
4: 1 ne room ko aag laga di
5: abe us ********* ko aane kisne diya mere room main.saala hamesha ********* karta hai!
5 to 1: abe oo ******, kya soch raha tha?

1 panics and pours in the first liquid he could find into the fire.Half a bottle of Coconut oil.

by this time, the fire had almost reached half the distance to the ceiling and had gone off, turning the white sink into the exact opposite of it's former color.

5 to 1: saaf , karke jaana
1(sighs): teek hai .

5 returns to his bed and decides he'd like some alcohol. Gets some and pours it in a glass

5:Peeoge?
*silence

*silence

3:Yar, rum hai? whiskey jaati nahi hai.

We really don't remember how long we did the peena for, the next thing was all of us getting up coughing.

3:ab kya jal raha hai?
2:meri Kotler!
3:saalo tum log wapas coal jalaa rahe ho?!

*1,2,3,4 put out the flame and go back to sleep. 5 couldn't be bothered again

What really happened though was, a glass of whiskey that was left alone had some how found its way from the table to the ground, and on the ground was an extension board which sparked up and said hello to the Kotler(also on the ground).

The next day we found out that at around the same time that we saved the Kotler. All the lights in the hostel had gone off. No one to this day knows why....

*Image Google

Search

2011-12-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

There are roles played to me

by them , I call my friends as are
And yet, there is an act , a say
That no one seems for me, to play.

I seem not able to read it in words, learnt
Nor find it counsel seeked
It seems to have walked away just

From drunken mirth, and calming love

I am failing, falling

under the beautiful blue today
Sailing skywards at a promise made
by the tempting moon, and the treacherous wind.

And still, at the end
I hope to find, what I was looking for
Though I know not of its color
Though I know not of its place

There are roles played to me

by them , I call my friends as are
And yet, there is an act , a say
That no one seems for me, to play.

Call me your Leader

2011-12-09T10:35:00.000-08:00

I'll take you there, follow blind

To a place unknown, just fall behind

Call me your leader, come tread along

I'll steal your mind and sing you a song

Call me your Leader, just fall behind

*image Google

And now, that I go

2011-09-11T04:11:00.000-07:00

And now, that I go
I have nothing to give
Nothing to share, to hold
but some beads of light, some sky blue
Few beautiful sighs for the morning dew
Some stories for the night, and ghosts that flew
Those befriended lies and a pacified rue.

And now, that I go
I have nothing to give
except all poetry, that I leave for you.

Image* Google

The Confused sort

2011-07-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Flying with the clouds

on a high that is bound to stay

for a fear that shouts betray

and a lady friend of mine.

Lurking in the shadows

with devils on the alley way

deep within a single fray

of the shrewd black inside my mind

Flowing like the blues do

of the ocean, of the music

in an old and the new hit

growing in and out of love

Close up like a fist does

on a ring for my mistress

where I am the only one to stand

and fall again

Flying with the clouds

on a high that is bound to stay

Idiopathic?

2011-07-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just like every other loyal Indian this moment who is sad about the bomb blasts, I use the Social Networking platform to express empathy and blame our government for it!

Seriously?!

The Nation of the Mahatma, has finally awakened,again. So for the next few weeks we are all going to change our face book statuses to 'Lets hang Kasab!'.

Again,Seriously?!

I agree, that the guy deserves hell, he came into my country and he killed my people, he deserves hell, yes. I also agree that we do not send out strong signals as a country when we seem to have done nothing but feed him for quite some time now.

But then, I have to ask you this , How are you sure killing Kasab would have in any way better-ed what happened?
I may be a little too harsh when I say this, but it just sounds like we just want to kill someone, cause we could not save the ones we loved.Someone bad, yes, but point here is that we want to kill.Isn't that what he did?

I had heard this term somewhere,'Evolved Response'. What would that be?

And for all those people who have started writing letters to Dr Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi and all of those who were supposed to have saved us, I ask, 'Did you Vote?'
And for those who cannot understand the relevance, you really do not deserve to.

I friend recently quoted "His head is purely for cosmetic reasons". I'd agree to this If he'd have pointed at most of us.

Before I go on and lose reason for this post, what I am trying to tell you or thinking about is that, wouldn't it be a better world if all of us did what we could have?

Know,Educate, Create and Think.

Shouldn't India Help India?

Basic, right?I believe this means a better world for tomorrow.Give it a try?

You might say I have lost my mind, that I am living in a fantasy world with no sense of actuality, some of you might also think that I am not a good enough citizen. I cannot in any way, prove to you that I care.Sorry.

On a lighter note, lets do the news

1)This has been the longest I have attended the gym without a break.Two days!

2)Idiopathic is not Idiot+ Pathic

3)The real reason for the mirrors in the gym are so that you can laugh at all those expressions you make while lifting Weights.

4)We won a football game! (The captain let me play for two minutes)

5)I have to pass time, I be back to blogging again!

Breaking News(The ones that really matter)

1)Indira Gandhi once mistook 'Haathi' for 'Haath'.

2)Eva Longoria is doing a Lesbian love making scene.

3)Any girl I want to ask out would never say yes if she'd notice my nose.

Thank you for the read people. You guys have been really good .And Jobless :D

The Wedding Red

2011-06-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

And in red that I see you now

I shall hope you stay

I shall wish you wane

In the red that I bled today

*Image :Google

The meaning of Peace

2011-06-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

There are a few places that smiled by and stood aside as the world around them raced to become all important centres of human civilisation , not because they couldn't but simply cause they were wise enough to not.

One of them is my native town, Thalora.
It is.I hope will always be,a place with moss covered walls that tell you that is the only way they can stand.
With roads that wind up and down a hill , convincing it that it has not been tamed , just adorned with.A Place with whispering trees and singing insects, where nothing can be ugly,and nothing can produce anger, while beauty and peace canvas everything there is and ever will be.
Like wisdom over wrinkles.

With little known Ancient temples that were made when man still had ample time and acumen to build the divine, dress it and present it to the gods as homes. Legends and myths sculpted into walls and entire eternties, as paintings and word take back their true meaning and stature.Ponds from waters of a holy river a thousand miles away and a giant tree just as old as the skies.
A Place where reverance is not demanded, but is fully understood.

Where sunsets on the hills make you realise that you are witnessing something that nature wants to show off, that this was where god stood and pondered, and all poetry was born.

I have my home here
Under the stars and among these trees
Singing a thousand songs as the crickets please
Smelling the rain, with winds to talk
Rivers and sands with gods to walk
As drama unfolds in a second , by the hour
I wish I could play, but a small little part
Ponder at the twinkle, the firefly's beating heart
Glad I am, at peace I shall be
I have a home here
And I wish I'd never leave

Where the best thing that can happen to you is a power cut along with the night sky.

I, Different

2011-05-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

I have seen your world, your Justices and more

let mine be different

for as clever and strong

your truths may seem

they are all but lines to me

Some tested, some not yet learnt.

I've lived my life

and I shall live

the way I chose to breath

and as you find me

weak and dull, I bid you well

and ask you to leave

My centre is me.

For you can say that I was right

you can say that I'll be wrong

that I was bad or high or low

but never do think

I'll let you stand

Judge for me to be

I shall make my own mistakes

Even as I see you frown

As long as I fight, As long as I'll sheild

I'll feel some truths and etch some lies

and you,sadly

will be there and still not see

that I was strong,but

weaker than you think

Lessons

2011-05-03T00:26:00.000-07:00

In good old times, I used to not work as much.

The office is killing me again , feeding me to people, google and immense boredom, and while the whole world seems to enjoy gauding on a bearded man's death, I am trying to write funny whilst wondering wether I can dig my nose and be let off. The sneeze would be worth it.

Meanwhile, life continues to teach me newer things.Things that tell me that the rain god and the traffic god are the best of friends, inseperable.That you do not go near an elephant and make loud noises and that drama in the movies means much more that they ever can out of the 21 inch screen.

I mean, A hill top beer date or a letter could actually mean very little for people who swear by romance.The simple fact is, drama ceases to exist in the world that follows physics.Even if you download her favourite song and make your phone sing it while the beer happens.

I agree to the possibility that drama might not come to those who'd want to go out with four girls at one time, more so if the girls know it.But you simply cannot deny the fact that background music and a mosquito free hill serve a good purpose.

It Never ever comes to those thought to be kids. Drama, like marriage, seems to happen only to the old and stupid enough.

And when the Universe talks to me , I should share

1)People who are trying to count the number of Vegetarians and Meat eaters on facebook are on a truly noble mission.They make people like me feel good about ourselves.
2)If you are a thin person, you should really not call a fat person fat.

3)If you are one of those people who work at a Public Relation firm, you are probably really bad at everything else.And this too.

4)I am a kid.I am Calvin.

For all those who think that means I'm not mature enough for a human.Up Yours.

And for the rest of you who were bored enough to read.Much Obliged.

The Point?

2011-04-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

It looks like India has has finally awakened,like the days of corruption are over, like dishonest people will finally pay up and all that money will go back to those who earned it, like a 'One lakh' car is going to drive straight into our hearts, like all the cute dogs on our roads will find generous homes.

It is a truly colorful picture. Or is it?

If you ask me, it is not India, it is only facebook, that has awakened.

People asking each other to join the force that fights corruption. 'Notes' that explain who Anna Hazare is, his vision, his greatness. People 'tagged' in badges that say 'No corruption'.People putting up pictures of candle lit parks.
We the People,who gift cops with a 100 rupee note every time they catch us without a license.Still plan to.

Don't you think that a point is missed?Totally?

Yea well,I guess you should just ignore me .

When India beat Australia , I was happy , when they beat Pakistan, I was overjoyed , and when we won against Sri Lanka,I was a World Champion. Nothing can ever beat that feeling.
People Likewise felt happy too,and hence I got a lot of happy messages. Messages that said we beat 'the Whites', 'the terrorists' , and 'Sita's kidnappers'.

It was a fun message! oh lord! so much fun.

That week I read about 4 people calling Pakistani's 'fucking terrorists'.Four minds prejudiced to hate a nation beyond all doubt. Good?

The whole point of a sport, any sport ,I think, is to leave differences behind, to enjoy being stripped of all those layers you'd have had to wear as you grow up. To just be you and enjoy the game. Ironically , I see now , The love for the game has a lot to do with the hate for the an other player.

4 People! And inexplicable hate.

Yup, maybe I need to lighten up a little. You think?

There was a time when I thought the Education system was the one thing we needed to change, but now I see, that education might not be the point missed. Humanity, might be.
The disturbing fact is, We have no idea what to do.

There are some people I know though, who fight in their own ways. Rachel Daniels would not use plastic even if it came with a 'Calvin and Hobbes' poster, Snigdha Kapoor would not litter for free coffees in Costa, Chaitanya Challa Ravindranath wants to open up a school , even though he knows he'd end up scaring half the kids to death. Abhijeeth Hanumandala would want the best for people around him, except when they steal his food.

These are the people I want to fight the bad things with.

The line from the ' Rang De Basanti' song goes

' Jo ban sake tu humsafar mera, Nazar mila zara'. Think.

Anna Hazare's cause, I know , is a noble one, but are we good enough to voice it, is what I ask.Do you deserve to fight for it? or do you, at the very least , even desreve all that virtual applause on a social networking site?

Have you done anything worth?At all?

When, once, you dont bribe that cop, let me know , I shall respect you. and Listen.

Fray

2011-04-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

Will you or Will you not
Sing a song Along
With lines of Pain and Pity
Paint lighthouses that mourn
Dead waves against a rock

Will you now, dance with me
In Memories of a candle lit hall
Till the night grows old
and Owls come stare
At a romance long gone

Will you come, to laugh and mock
At the moon I gave you
And be torn by wolves seeking revenge
for the stolen white orb
Of dreams, that made them howl

Will you come now, again
to Come fill Reason into lines
These that the world will find Insane
Unless you smile and kill me again
Will you come, Sweet maiden mine.

Don't you come now
Now in love with the fray
I'll let myself walk away
Holding cold winter Nights
That befriend longer than Summer Light.

The Best?

2011-03-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

The one sad thing about being Inspired is the need for approval.

The reason , I realise, did not have anything to do with not being good enough, but that it was not good enough for someone else.If you think about it, I guess you'll find it quite stupid a reason too.For someone who was proud of the fact that they think on their own , the want for acknowledgement can become a thing of shame.It has now.

I do understand that a genius wants all his work to be the best there was, and the fact that everyone aspires to be one.The one thing though, that I don't think is justified is not applying that genious , becuase you think it not to be the best. Today's world can use a one or two of the 'Almost Geniuses'

Changing opinions is a great responsibilty, and in a perfect world , they always change for the better.Fortunately,we don't live in one. And hence, should not shirk from trying .

Green Trees In Autumn.

2011-02-12T06:38:00.001-08:00

After the poem I told my phone friend that ‘it isn’t about being honest anymore, it is about being clever’.

How wrong I was.

Being clever, I did write something that some people thought was really spectacular, but a friend who mattered a lot more ridiculed it, tore it down, spat at it. He asked me if there was a single line in the poem that was honest (quite honestly, I thought there might be one in the sixteen)but there wasn’t. He was the only person who saw through.

Any wonder he mattered more?

I saw now that the joy in writing comes from not words, but emotions. That the moment, you try to duplicate a feeling or create one, you make it much lesser an expression. That the glory doesn’t lie in belligerent praise, but in apt justification of the endeavour.

I see that there is absolutely no point in trying to express something I did not feel.I am sorry I tried.

If you are not true to the one thing that makes you, you lose it. Not to never come back again, but to just not be there then, as you try and try to be what you were.

Like green trees in autumn.

This Letter I write to you,my love

2011-02-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

This letter I write to you, my love

My heart , My dreams , My beautiful word

These lines I feel are you, my love

My stake , My death , My Sinful mirth

These things I’d get for you my love

The stars, the rains, the evening sun

These things I’ll share with you love

A start, an end and a backward run

In Times I lived for you my love

I laughed , I danced , I breathed my best

For Times In you I lived my love

I hurt and fled, my friend of trust

So now I say this, my love

I love you still, I’ll love you just

For love you say I mean, my love

I love you still, I love you must

Hour,Another

2011-01-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Hour,Another sleep me strong
The intent from my thoughts have all worn
I pray all day but never see
What I've been doing
has been done to me.

You Think? 1

2010-12-05T05:22:00.000-08:00

The Start is the hardest,and it is just the way it is.

I have had a lot of people telling me that the start is figuring out what I like to do, for what I think I was (as inevitable as it might have been) born to do.I have been told to find a purpose,actually I have been told to find a purpose and a tool that are the same.

What do you want to become?
I want to become a writer
Why do you want to become a writer?
So I can Write

The sense of purpose that is now driving us, I think is taking us far,yes,but I for one, fail to see the logic behind glorifying the auto metre reading more than talking about where it took us.

I am being celebrated.
Should you be?
Of course I should be,I have made a difference.
To?
A lot of people, and myself.
You think the people will now have changed?And have you?

I think the answer to that question would have to be the definite answer to your sense of purpose.Nothing will last forever, not even the change you have created. The question, I think is , what lasts more.The beautiful part about the 'Remembrance of a change' is that it destroys the very Change it once was.Evolution may then,be definetly be termed as a cosmic rule.So is then this sense of purpose so futile as I presently think it to be?Please tell me.

One might argue then, that Happiness is the answer, but a friend of mine may tell you that Happiness is just an other addiction.Then , Addiction would have to be the most powerful word. Hope,Love,Purpose,Faith,Life.Everthing seems to be one. Something We might have been just fine without,if never introduced to us.It is a scary thought.

I smoke
I never have
I am feeling just fine
I am feeling just fine too.

If yes, I guess then, Illusions really do form more of a reality,then reality itself. All structure , method and Purpose seems Sublime.
So do these words...

*What is truly liberating, is having a wiser friend.Even if he tells you liberty is just an illusion.*

Block

2010-10-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am stuck now, not in space but in mind.
The more I try to see ,write or think different ,the more I understand that I am walking circles, on a tight rope with jeering and laughter. Life has now, forever become a balancing act with mocks playing at the back of my head.

Anger never felt so pure.

Perceptions show me fools everywhere I look, breeding quite belligerently. Taking in the air and never letting out, just sucking it more and more. Brains imprisoned by borrowed thoughts,Reason left unanswered, Preachings never questioned.

Writings that do not teach.

Perceptions tell me they are mutual .

Maybe, understanding that I don’t seem to be going further is actually edging forward. The wall that blocks might just be showing me the two new directions. Maybe, Living might shine through existence if only I let go of the urge to. While the only reason I'd let go, would be the hope of not losing it.

Tight rope in Circles. Again.

Filled with irony , life is filling it back .Contrasts, now seem ,are meant to be together.

In me, your love shall live
And mine shall die
With a sigh, end to the night
when you wake up,to the hurt and sting
talk about a wanderer who walked
some glorious ways to shame.

Felix

2010-09-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

The cold seeped in,and the angst fell away..

When you walk a long straight road in a storm,with a friend to taste the rain with,and thunders to be shouted upon by,You'll feel god smiling at you from under the street lamp.

'This is Purity'-A Bohemian.

That was Purity.

The Rain Tasted Sweet,better than almost anything I ever drank down.It wasnt a thirst quenched.It wasn't what life usually offers you when you strive real hard to offer something back.It wasn't just Contentment,wasn't more.Could never have been measured.Happiness.

It was time wanting to see me smile and space trying to join in.An Entire Universe felt in drops.Drops that followed and joined.Lived and Dreamt.Conquered and Knelt.

Paranoia washed down the slopes.Gravity,finally seemed to have worked.

The water gave away when i put my feet down.I shaped it.I Splashed it around.I made waves and drowned entire worlds,Worlds that made Survival feel like an Irony.Worlds with stiffling days and freezing nights.Worlds without long roads to walk by in a storm.

I wanted it to go on.Because i knew I would never be back..

Continuum

2010-08-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

With million dead,laughs
the rotting space
tired eyes dreamt, dim
your light,taken away
a life,blown hard on
the flame,to dance in pain

I restrain,
the urge to love
to hate,i find me
weak with pleasures,wrapped
tight under my stretched out arms
of grace.

smell rebellion
in,smokes of lazy content
hurting deep,the cigarette burn
of anger,the guarding angel
to sanity,impure
like the temple blood

write yourself
in a paper,crumple
the yearning,on the floor
dances madness,with maiden reason
trying to find,an extension of self
in the potrait drawn,of the dawn exposed
on a night that sings,of birth and end
in continuum.

Mist,Marooned

2010-07-22T06:54:00.000-07:00

The Pine needle rain was hurting him again,and it seemed like the night would not whisper console anymore..

Fourteen months,it had been.Fourteen months since the Captain was last sure about the weather,since the one steady brow on the glass eyed tube and a smoking pipe lied to him.Quite convincingly.Fourteeen months,he thinks it has been,since he tasted the ocean salt and heard the rotting wood gurgle away into the dark blue.

He had never learnt to write.A sailor never needed to.The only two names he had ever bothered with were his and his Captain's.Not because he had loved the captain,but because he wouldn't be a sailor without the Captain.It had come in to good use too.Everyday he would write his captain's name on the white sand and urge the sea to wash it away.Little by Little.Everyday he wished he wouldn't have to do that again.Every night he Wept....
*
WALTER DRAKE

WALTE

WA

..
*

The highest cave was his home.Hope greeted every new sun and stars twinkled despair all along.Leaves had covered his body well and the fish would roast quite perfectly.He had survived,he had learnt to survive here.He was a sailor.

Survival was his greatest fear....

The Green peak at the right end of the island was his heaven.He would talk to the rocks when he felt alone..

He could not remember if she worn red or blue at the harbour.He could not remember if she had brought the dog along.He could not remember about wether the wind had been playing the hair.He could not remember if the sun was setting an orange hue.All he could remember was the salty tearful kiss which told him all he to ever needed know,all he ever longed to know.That she would be waiting...and the good bye smile.

Sometimes,the clouds would mimic her face and he would talk about the many worlds he had seen.Sometimes she wouldn't be there,and he would bother the growing plants instead.Sometimes he would just stare.
Sometimes even the mist seemed sad.Marooned.

He would talk to the rocks when he felt alone.The Green peak at the right end of the island was his hell..

Nero

2010-07-15T05:46:00.000-07:00

Kings of heavens and Hounds of hells,
I be greater than thee
For when I shall sit on that chair,dead
I shall be prayed and be set free

Rome had burnt for seven nights
And flames it kissed for six new suns
As when at night,I play my harp
my queen and I would Snigger and Wail
How could it be??

To rule like gods,to laugh like men
I shall carve Rome out of gold again
And when they see what i give
Songs would sing,Colours would paint
And Life Shall live,
My Dream

I Shall Play And I Shall Reap,
I Shall Kill And I Shall Weep,
My Feat Shall Be the Best there's been
My Beauty,My Divine,My Male Queen
We Shall be

Armors And hides And Hearts be drilled
If you would dare not see my Act
For I am Nero,The king of Arts
The King of World,A king insane
A man,An Artist,A God...

*****************************************************************

Some lines from the poem are a direct reference to the ancient Roman rituals.
The line "And when i shall sit on that chair,dead" refers to their ancient custom of propping a dead person up in a chair and conducting an eulogy.

Similarly,some other lines are also to be quite literally interpreted.Nero was supposedly quite mad at the end of his life(having murdered his wife,working as a theatre artist and imposing huge taxes to build an impossible dream,a new Rome)

The lines
"My Beauty,My Divine,My Male Queen" refers to a male fellow actor in his group whome he had made his queen(by cutting of the his sexual organ making him a Eunuch)after he killed his wife over a blurt.

Although Nero was one of the most preposterous kings to have ever been,the guy had a beautiful vision once"To make rome a Temple of Art.to rule it as its god."

A vision Insane,yet Beautiful...

What's it about?

2010-07-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

In midst of all the eventual reciprocity called Life,what actually keeps us alive are few drops of the uncertain,unexplained and the not thought for.What is Abstract needs no reason to explain itself,and that would be experiencing true freedom.And is Beautiful.

******************************************************************************
I have always been telling people that Engineering is the most aweful thing that ever happened to me.I lie.I lie cause no truth would explain me better than the lie.In fact,it was best thing that happened to me.And will always stay Beautiful...

The manequin by the Women's wear had the most intriguiging expression.The air around smoked of Unanswered questions and waiting expectations.She Smiled,Earnestly,lifeless yet alive...

They play the game,they worship it.In Wishful hearts and Churning minds,they know they'll never die as long as it stays.It would always stay,until the next eternity.It wasn't just a game,wasn't even just life.It was Art...

Poetry is its own rhythm.Words would find their beats and lines would make tunes.Perfect Chaos and an Imperfect harmony would reflect an Aging sky and the Dying sun.If the end is ever to be declared,poetry would be perfect.

I seek thee in the heart of hills

I find your leftover green

I seek thee in the blowing air

I find you cant survive the winds

I seek thee in a laughter,loved

I see you've gone,long ago

And as i sing,of the treasure unfound

I see,

You(beauty) lie in your subtlety

Feed me My Suicide

2010-06-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

Fires and Flies in love again
remind me of a darker room
where tube light moons shone through us
and days were lit by plastic suns

In beds that carved out morning lust
I feel your breath,it lingers still
I miss you now,for the dirty touch
Form upon me,my cactus dust

I'll show you now,the scheme of minds
help you find your troubling times
drink me down,I'll be your wine
and feed you to some demons divine

Help me find an end to it
play through all my cries again
Gasp me through the swims and glides
Smile,feed me my Suicide

It Was...

2010-05-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

I'd first seen her at the dentists.I had Cussed with her at the dentist's.And i asked her to burn the stupid brown hat at the dentist's....The beginning.

I had followed her to the ferry.Hoboken to Paulus hook.I figured that for a person who'd wear a long skirt and a bucket cap,it had to be a sober ride.She noticed when she saw me again.We had just walked out of Dr.Stefen's clinic together.I smiled.She smiled back,and then looked out at the city.
She felt like good old times to look at,Black and White.

Eventually,I did get to talk to her.More Eventually still..We never stopped.

The ferry,the city,the doughnut,the game,the skies,the guy with the cat,the cat with the guy,the lives...Everything seemed to hold so much more when We talked about them.Everything seemed to have been filled up with stories.Stories that would twist,turn and End at the beginning of an other,and an other......A few times,they'd also end with she showing me the finger.

Every day,Somewhere between Hoboken and Hook was when I'd live a life.

The best thing about our new relation,was its lack of definition...I guess that was one of the reasons we never called each other anything.Something more affluent than friendship, less urgent than lust and more intimate than family.Love,was always,too strong a word...

It was the perfect careless gray painting...

The Terminus

2010-05-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Oh,come to me,your beautiful face
shall take me to the water
where i shall see and smile
at the terrible sins inside

Blue Moon Eclipse

2010-05-17T04:02:00.000-07:00

The wind,the mare and the passing tree
whisper strange tales to me
of a night that comes and tickles the moss
and a firefly's love,to secrets untold

The room i sleep,that stands alone
sings to the thirsty skies,above
'throw in some light through the window
i'll muster up some dust
my love,lets cough up a rainbow'

Through twists and turns, my dark deeds flow
like a rampant river would
until they find,they miss their home
and the waiting sea is cold

Wars and rebels that i stumbled upon
are wars that bleed me still
but kings would die,and gods recall
that history would flicker between dead names

let me be the wind,one day
let me be the play
and when the light is hidden tonight
let me be the blue moon eclipse

The Wisdom of Death

2010-04-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

The Mountains held the sun up high
It kissed the lake awake
Feathers of white an angel,spread
And filled up all my dreams

The look,The pray, The strange Attire
Kept me gazing along all morn
And then as sun rained down upon
Some Children young,were born

The first one sang,to a potrait alone
And asked her if she would be
The queen of greens,the lasting dust
The queen of all his melody
A Queen to never be...

The Second one travelled far and wide
And found his life in gold
He'd laugh along his men,aloud
With royalty behold!
A winter cold...

Then one next,would war a lot
A Sword would lift and fight,
The Gods in him would praise him well
And gift him ruthless pride
An Angry tide..

The sun when set,the angel smiled
He looked down as they died
All that was left was a melody,sad
with a Dying Winter's frozen tide
A Summer's cry...

The look,The pray,The strange attire
Had kept me gazing along
And when he smiled some nicer,still
was when I breathed my rest
With the Wisdom of Death..

Cocaine

2010-04-11T10:12:00.001-07:00

Greyhounds hunt me on a cold wild night
As a Full Moon howls my name
The Clouds then covers and hides my deeds
While a spear thrusts through their mane

Dark those hands that i have played
But life played darker still
And While my time would eat away,
My soul,I'd forever kill...

The mite turn dust,and Ashes to rest
A heart that's made of wood
And When the fires would spit the hate
The Gods Shall have my blood to taste
Some blood to taste...

Crippled thoughts on crutches run
In a brain that is dead again
And through the haze and mist and rain
I ask for my Cocaine....

Youngistaan ka WOW!

2010-04-09T11:15:00.000-07:00

If i was the game master,I'd ask Ranbir to get past this.....

I'll put him on the edge of a maze ,and i'd recite this poem..

Bolo kis mod pe pepsi pyas bujhaye?
puch lo rasta unse jo bete upar tumhare
Agar tumhe maloom pada hai pepsi ke tikhane ka
tho pahunch ke uttar par,pepsi le jaane ka...

The Ans.
tho pahunch ke UTTAR par,pepsi le jaane ka...

UTTAR-North :D
(yes,I know you guessed.)

puch lo rasta unse jo bete UPAR tumhare
the sun..the stars...

If its daylight,He can see that the sun is setting in a certain direction,and hence figure as to where North is...

If its night,All he needs to find is the North star :D

What do you guys think??Worthy enough for Youngistaan ka WOW!?

LOL

2010-04-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

Mark Zuckerberg created facebook, Facebook created Farmville ,Farmville made Easter eggs,but i never got them :(

Youngistaan is definitely into Everything.From Politics to Reality tv.From Sports to Movies.From Indian premier league to the English premier League.

But one thing Almost every urban Youngistaani is onto.......Social Networking.

Facebook now gets you a)friend of the day b)lover of the day c)kisser of the day..... in the SAME day..That is Rapid progress,people!!Rapid.But the best part is...All of them are different people!!!
(This guy ended up kissing another guy called Ankit Bishwakarta :D)

Awesome huh!??Errr...umm...What about Stupid???Lame???No??
Sheesh!!

And then there are other applications.....'Hug me' 'Kiss me' 'Do me' etc...
*******************************************************************************
The 'Comments' section can also be quite funny....Let me show you how..

Status:
Bavya adipo: Football!!!!!!!!! hmmmmmmmmmmm

Comments:
Zaib Slergoll:i like it bolke na bhavvu???..hehe

Bavya Adipo:hahahah ya zaibu.... but football is the only game wer ball is kicked rite ;)
Anant Kumaran:sometimes even da player falls while kickin it..............:P

Bavya Adipo:huh here comes the fact hahahhaha really good @ anand

Zaib Slergoll:hehehe ul kich me bhavvu?this much nly?

Bavya Adipo:no zaibu y il kick u re....gone mad....somethins r compared wid football zaibu

ZaibSlergoll:ohh lol..!!is it? like wat?
Anant Kumaran :even i am a lover of football..........i love manU.......THAT TOO ROONEY AND RONALDHO
Zaib Slergoll:haha itz ronaldo* hehe
Bavya Adipo:lol u guys.....

Anant Kumaran spellin mistake..lite le yaar

Zaib Slergoll:yess..!! :-)

Bavya Adipo:i wonder wat must be the plight of that ball after kickin it soo much....it hurts dat ball alot i guess ;)
*********************************************************************************
Please do savour every line...!

*Names Changed
(If any one of the above guys ever read this...My defence:I just couldn't help it :D)

Again,Youngistaan ka WOW!!

1)Now,If anyone at all can make sense out of this,I'll give half my fortune....A banana!!
2)And for all those people who chat their weight off..For Christ's Sakes, 'LOL' is not a word!!
*********************************************************************************
Now,for the Youngistaan that DOES matters,I realise that there many many people out there who try and make the best possible use of the internet.

Blogging,Reading,Inventing,Aspiring,Inspiring (and Downloading.... :D)

I say this because our computers are a whole new world now,there are some who realise that this world can in some ways very effortlessly create a better world outside.

Its actually pretty cool to know that something I'd write can actually change an opinion,or atleast make people think.And i've always maintained that all we need to build a better world is to 'Think'.

.....And that better world can definitely come from Youngistaan!!

Gaana Aaye ya na Aaye Gaana Chahiye!!

2010-04-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

If i Win the 'Blogger of the month' I Swear,I'll go have a bath!!

*Bows down

'Youngistaan'...I liked the term.It goes well with our country.Young Minds,Better Aspirations, Greater Visions and an Aerated drink!!Its awesome!!(Its us!)Its not sad if we think more about who Sania Mirza is gonna marry that about the 'Right to Education'.Definitely not sad if we do know who katreena kaif is NOT dating but have no clue as to who our Vice president is.So what??We're still youngistan!!

I do not want to talk Social today.I need to be a lot more sober for that :).So today,I'm talking Bollywood

Movies,Songs and Sheer Awesomeness (*Cough)

Movie:Click.
Song :Title track.

When i saw the movie,i knew what a production house would do of left over money.They make a ghost,an almost vulgar looking heroine and a really lousy actor...Oh wait,they also make the ghost sit on the actor's shoulder for the rest of his life(Do watch)

But what left me rolling on the floor laughing,was the title track.

Line 1:'Click....click...click,click,click...'

LIne 2:Click....Click..Click,Click,Click..'

Line 3:Click....Click..Click,Click,Click...'

'WOW'!!!No wait...
'Youngistaan ka WOW'!

Movie:Blue.
Song:Chiggy wiggy...and yes,the Title track.

Plainly, this was the most boring under water treasure hunt ever to be witnessed in all of human history.I was bored,and so were the sharks!!I wanted to know how much money fell into the sea...and so i asked yahoo.The best answer was..

"it sure to be in crores only.What with so many heavy wieghts acting in the film....It has to be 'heavy'..LOL'...."

The song starts with kylie minogue and she knows what she's doing.Almost an Aphrodisiac..

Akki bhai comes on and ruins everything.(*gropes his hair)Everything!!!I swear to god i almost cried when they said "It's Rehman".Yes,they did a punjabi with Snoop dogg.But minogue!!???

Akshay:Khatun ki khidmatmain khiladi ki hai kwaish
Katil ye aadayein katilana ye numaish

Kylie :I wanna Chiggy Wiggy with you boy

Just chiggy wiggy with you

Akshay :Tera husn rehamat ya ghazab

Tera ishq ibadat ya khata

Kylie :I wanna Chiggy Wiggy with you Boy

I wanna chiggy Wiggy with you Boy

Akshay :Tukahe tho yere sang Zindagi....

Now,I dont know about you guys but to me, Akshay clearly seems a little desperate.All kylie is asking is for a 'Chiggy Wiggy'...Why the hell is Promising her a life?!!!Reports tell us that Kylie got real scared and ran away..

"Just Chiggy,God damn it!!just chiggy wiggy!All I ever wanted was a chiggy wiggy"Says kylie.

The Title track just has a bunch of seemingly irrelevent lines ending with 'BULUEEE...'(Did not bother to check)

Youngistaan ka WOW!

Movie:Luck

Song:Title track.
I honestly cant say much about the movie.Not when the script has got the word 'Luck'...for about a hundred miliion times!!

A set of Sanjay's Dailogues from the movie

1)Chalo aaj mera luck aazma the hain.

2)Chalo aaj thumara luck aazma the hain.

3)chalo aaj humara luck aazma the hain.

The song Goes something like'aazma luck aazma'(bout 10 times in 12 lines)And some english lyrics.And then,I slept. :

There are a couple of other songs I'd like to mention...There's this one where the actors seem to in a very serious debate..One of them goes'Pyar impossible' ,The other says'It's possible hai yar'......"pyar impossible" , "Its possible hai yar"...."pyar impossible" , "its possible hai yar"......And they live happily ever after.And there's this one which hasnt bothered with words at all!!All you can hear is "peee pe pe pe, pe pe pe peee' Until you finally go deaf and smile at the beautiful privilage called Silence.Oh, the video's got Shahid kapoor acting Rabid(Almost)

Youngistaan ka WOW!

Shouldn't there be censor board to filter boredom???!!Youngistaan wants better!!

I cant deny the fact that one's in about an era,a legendary movie is born is bollywood.Movies like Rang de Basanti,Swades...Movies that make us want to be a part of the world they show .That Inspire,Instigate,Raise questions and Gift answers.There are songs in hindi cinema that i can listen to for a million times and ponder over for an other miliion..I cant say no to that either.

Any song from 'Rang de' can have me marvel at the lyrics...

"Abhi abhi hua yakeen,ki aag hai,

mujh main kahi

hui subha,main chal gaya

suraj ko main,nigal gaya"

Now,that's Rehman :D

Fool

2010-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 9; the ninth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

A Fool is someone who thinks they know better,and at this instant there are roughly about 6.5 billion on this planet.

The reason for me to say that is that I see the elements physical world and our minds conspiring against us.Almost all the Time...

Examples for the curious…

1)Education.
I was in the third standard when I was made a fool by my teacher.He had taught me the phrase ‘Unity in Diversity’.Being the patriotic kid I was,I was quite proud of my country….and my teacher. Sheesh!!

If I am ever again to write a third grade test asking me to elaborate ‘Unity in Diversity’…I’d just say the phrase was a very sad prank.

Today,its just not these three words who try to laugh at my face.Its my Education itself.Robin williams once said that the entire point of Education was Free thinking.No wonder he was one of the funniest actors.

2)Love
This phenomenon is probably where the laughter is the hardest.No matter how you look at it,You were a classic.
I was Sixteen years old when I thought I fell in love…And I wrote a poem….And now,I Laugh.I was the perfect fool…And I’m guessing,so were you ,once.

3)Time
Being made a fool my time is something you cannot avoid,something that you cannot change,something you just cant help.Its a genie,but sometimes it just doesn’t like you.
The important part is that you have to remember to laugh along with the genie.That even though you are not alladin,You do have the honest monkey and the talking parrot as your best friends,and a princess(with an excellent fashion sense)as your lover.

4)God.
You better be fooled by him,or you’ll find it hard to live.Cause when he said that the dawn would rise after the darkest hour,he didn’t mean he’ll shed light on a treasure chest.But the fact remains that its always nice to hope.

God also has a brother.His names Religion.And by the looks of it,he’s a real poltergeist.

5)Power
This is the most dangerous of all.For once you are tricked by power,you lose yourself.

So I guess it just means that we’d gotta play by ,welcome and be wary of some who try to fool us.I do not deny that there are ocassional instances when all of them come into play together,In that case I’d just have to call you Tiger woods and tell you that you’re screwed.

Happy April fool's people!!

A fool I was,a fool will be
Till I find light and fight what I see
A fool shall fall,A fool shall bleed
The fool I see,in all of me

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

:)

2010-03-24T00:56:00.001-07:00

I've always Maintained that the reason for by blog to be so devoid of happiness is that I'm never alone when I'm happy,but thats only half true...The other half reason is that i never thought i can do justice to the magnificence of the sun setting on a beach,that anyone can ever contain in words and lines,the feeling of elation you feel when you almost cry laughing with your friends,family...It is true that Words are definitely more Powerful than anything else known to mankind,But happiness, I think is Something much beyond Power....Something that can never be contained by Power alone....even Words.

And so you have to remember that I've felt pleasure way more than what i can ever tell you I've felt...

Happiness once was 4 friends,A Car
A song playing,And an orange sun racing me.
It once was a full moon and a soft breeze
Once a golden lamp lit temple
It once was all eternity..

When you realize that there couldn't be a better combination of time,space and matter...You'll feel god smiling upon you...A little happy and a little jealous...Cause at that instant,You're better off than he is.

I guess that is when you know that you are happy.Not when you feel that nothing can go wrong,but when you feel that nothing Is wrong.That life,as it is,is just perfect.

Grim

2010-03-07T06:07:00.000-08:00

*Sometimes,Youngistaan is Grim,And then they write like this :)
********************************************************************

As a Free thinker,i do not hesitate eating a piece of chocolate right off the floor!!!

It is as stupid as hell when your brains do not stop thinking about all the things that aren't worth the tiny little electric impulses.About all the things you need to forget majorly because you constantly remind yourself that you really have to.Frozen lakes,Falling snow,Singeing Embarrassments etc.I mean ,you really cannot do anything if you feel intimidated by a fifteen year old boy who has written an Excellent piece on Communism with Sarcasm at all the right places.It doesn't help that you know nothing about Communism except that it is somehow related to Russia and some other places famous for Cigars and cheap Cell phones...

Wiki helps....and not.

But intimidation is much better than shame.And if you guys need an elaboration on shame,Ask yourself these questions.

1)What part of the globe does New Zealand lie?
2)When was the last time you said 'horn rimmed' glasses had horns on the side?
3)When was the last time you stopped something wrong?

Don't worry much,most of us have similar answers to these.

Now,lets do the news.(To those who watch TG, I fashion myself to have Jeremy's wits)

1)The World has a universal hobby now.Social networking.
2)Osmania university student finds out setting a bus ablaze doesn't work,tries it on himself.
3)Tiger Woods apologises for having lots of sex,Wayne Bridge has none at all.
4)Rahul mahajan chooses a bride on national television,just to prove he aint gay.

Breaking news.
1)Commissioner's dog returns!
2)Aaj tak finds Ravan's mummy.

Yes, i know.Hail the Indian media!
Better yet,hail us!!(especially the educated lot)

You have to understand that what we have is just a mimic of what education really is....and a little longer yet,you cant wait to show that finger to the ass who teaches you about electrical machines.

The next time you have your status message as 'Fuck you,I dont care' Think again...Do we??

*********************************************************************************
You think enough and realize,between all the Concoted truths and Deceitful dreams........You are,and are not,the center of the universe.

Flowers that i hate,have fully bloomed tonight
I realize I've lost and still, I fight
Darkness bleeds despair and a redemption dead
I seek my trust,in all the lies you've led.

My little dreams,
Be sang in hell,be sang in screams
My little dreams

Take back the City!

2010-02-08T01:52:00.000-08:00

One long bus ride, i guess is all you need to realise a post about your city,would be perfect...!

********************************************************************************

Hyderabad-princely state people!!or maybe it once was...i don't think osman ali khan would have been too sad to let it go if he had lived another 40 years,or maybe it wasn't that 'princely' a state ever...

Prides-The city was mughal,and that part of it never changed.Never will, i think.

The Golconda fort(Never been there,cant tell you much)

The Charminar-(people here are very proud of it,guess they ought to be).Definitely a sad place.I'd rather have the fish fries there.'CAN DEFINE NEGLECTED'

The Salarjung museum-History,names,dates,famous people,famous paintings of famous people, their famous clothes,famous beds,famous pens,famous inks and so on.But yes, a lot to know,loads to understand and is full of boredom.'DEFINITELY A MUSEUM'

Hi tech city-Google,computers and fantastic buildings. 'CYBERBAD!!!'

and the new air port....this ones real sweet people!!

People-People here are just like they are everywhere else.They love T.V and hate sense.They stay up late nights only for exams or day night cricket matches,nothing else.And they love their home.They'll love you if you are one of them.They'll leave you alone if you are not.They'll kill you if you swear at them.

They aint good,they aint bad.They just people and most of them are lazy.or maybe lazy and determined.lazily determined...and so is the city.

The food-Hyderabadi chicken Biriyanis,fish fries,mutton chops(3 things you'll need to survive)'FINGER LICKIN GOOD!!'

Irani chai(i heard its nice,not much into teas n stuff)

The spirit-Sweet,Sad and extremely contagious.'ITS A CITY!!'

The place is something like host to a parasite.Millions of them!!(the people)and they prosper belligerently.

Substance-The twin cities,they confound us with very deceptive differences.Hyderabad is known for the grandeur and royalty and stupid funny hindi while sec bad is more like a cozy housing complex with a slightly better accent.But i think they share a common heart(just that the limbs aren't a team.)The place can turn out to be an absolute paradise for anyone,coz its got a huge range of everything.(from VIP lounges to slums,from bars to 'strictly' veg.restaurants,from people to gods...)

Character- I was sitting in this 'HUDA' park(they are common around here,not as much as 'HOT CHIPS' though) the other day, and i almost laughed out loud.

The sweet old place was lying to the people,to itself. It said "clean hyderabad,green hyderabad" and right there on the board was the result of some idiot not finding a spitoon."green hyd,clean hyd", was so sickeningly red now.The water was sparkling green as well.Sewage,garbage,pee,animal faeces,human faeces and a lot more i think.Trust me guys, this park was as green as it could get!!Almost every other place in hyd is like this park-Exasperatingly bad at lying..

Everyone there though,was in love with the place and the evening.Happy People,Dirty birds,Dead fish,Everyone!!

It was like they knew this place,accepted it and rejoiced in it. So i think its like this place which tells lies,lures people and then makes them love it.The traffic,the honks,the roads,the dirt,the smugness,the green water,the people....Anyone not from hyd would hate the place but everyone from hyd would love it(me be one,ma'am!).'BEWITCHING'

That evening, was spent in blissful laziness.

Untitled

2010-02-03T10:58:00.000-08:00

Speak to the morning now,shout to the rain
Taste some honey with the clouds up,gray
Talk to crows,and watch them say
'An ignorant life with a blissful pay'
And the games we play..

Thoughts that brains have not thought through
The time when spent wouldn't cost you?
A spark,an illusion,some magic true
With horses and Kings and Dragons,few
'Where heart's a fool,and mind astray'

Dance with the river,as history sings
Dance with the wind,the church bell rings
Dance with the joker,dance with the Ace
Dance like the daffodils,by the side of France
Dance your years away
'We dance our wisdom away'

A place we lead,A place we brought
Some kindness sold,some happiness bought
but the place we leave can never be
a place of peace,or summers green
'prayers,i was taught...'

The Laugh

2010-01-02T11:41:00.001-08:00

She was doing it .She does that all the time...All the time.

She was laughing ,and every inch of my wasted heart wanted to sing to her,to tell her that i loved her.But i wouldnt.I swore to god that i'd not tell her that.

I did not tell her that i loved her when she left...

I searched for the needle.I had one,I had one all the time.I wouldnt ever be tricked by her again.Not when i am conscious.Not when my brain was still thinking.The Needle would save me .
The strap felt tighter.The arm was swelling, it was going blue and dried blood was waiting to be punctured .But Heroin is better than her.Less painful and faster.And it helps me tell her i Wait and Want,like a new born child....
****************************************************

The hall was lighted by a thousand candles.She was in my arms,swaying.Music and Magic intertwined with Love and Lust.I held her tighter still.Till i could feel every part of her,Touching,Teasing,Inviting.I could hear my heart pump a longing through my veins.A longing that drove intense heat all through my body,down to my toes and up to my fingers.It felt like her eyes were the only truthful things,that an only perfect World lay somewhere in them.Everything else was just an illusion,False.We kissed and the candles went out.
****************************************************

I was chasing her.And she was laughing.No,maybe i was laughing,maybe we both were.I caught her,there were marigolds all around us.And she was flying along with the butter flies .I was just looking at her.She seemed to have become an angel.She had a halo.A big golden halo....
****************************************************
She looked at me with that question again. I looked at her and i smiled.The garden was gone now,wind from the seas were singing about mermaids and dead love.I wanted to lie down on the sand with her,but she said she had to go.She said she wasn't mine now.She looked at me with that question again,smiling the saddest smile any god has ever witnessed.
****************************************************
And the room was full of them.Mirrors.And each of them was staring at me with the same question.
'Why?'

'I love you' i said to her Laughter again...and she stopped.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy New Year People!!

And i know its cliche...so bite me!

Dust and Dreams

2009-12-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

Dust and Dreams fill my eyes
As i go slow through this road
A weary jacket,with the years grown
While forgotten tryst,smiles a road alone
All alone..

Scorching heat,my wheels have felt
Dry and hard,the winds have been
But friends i've grown, with the desert sand
And the night shall see us drink
To a rose,astrand..

Hate and glare have filled me up
Love and life have cooled me down
And as long i ride,i shall be
The king of heavens and seven seas
All mine,it feels..

Curtains and lives have been run past
Memories and pain and revelations last
but i don't care if i win or lose
The race with an Orange sun
for the new tomorrow.

Dust and dreams in my eyes...

Angel,disgraced

2009-11-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

Kill me now,before i shout
Kill me here,before i hate
Take me now,when i am tame
Kill me before i say your name

For times when i shall be set free
Horrid truths would come to be
When 'love' would turn to 'want'
And a 'gift' shall turn to 'need'
And you shall see...

Hurt it would,and pain a lot
As my heart would heave a sigh,
Heavens would close and prisons call
When a fallen god shall cry
On a silent pyre...

Drink and lust would take me home,
To a ship with pirate's flag
And a frightened devil would sit amazed,
When I sing about my angel,disgraced.

The Splendid Truth

2009-10-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

Social networking can get real funny.

The 'Five things you cant live without' coloumn is the funniest.
People write all kinds of things.My mom,My dad,My love,My dog,my ipod.....laptop.
Can make you smile,sometimes.
Can make you want to say 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!'

The answer i think,would be the same or at least similar for everyone.
Five things one cant live without:Authority,Attention,Sympathy,Ego and Lies.

I watched this watchman guy chase a couple of kids with a stick.Flailing.It was an abandoned building and I'm pretty sure the kids were just playing hide and seek.Now,you could argue that the guy was just doing his job.That he was a broken 60 year old still dedicated to what he is meant to do.You can....

The way i see it,he was thrashing about like a fish cause,at that instant,he wasn't guarding someone else's property.He was protecting HIS building.His,when his master's not around.His,when he has his packed lunch by the pillar.His,when he takes a leak by the wall.His,when he dreams at night.His,when he plays his own games of hide and seek with the world.He will not allow anyone else to hide there.Just like the kid who discovers the best hiding spot.And he will forever be the only one who seeks in there,for times he knows he can never find.

Its his and he will never allow anyone else to take it.His AUTHORITY.
Each one of us has our own deserted builiding.

I dont think i even need to get started on Attention.Social networking is all about it.From stupid online names to cool orkut tags.From totally personal 'Whats-on-my-mind' to yelling out judgements.From making friends to lighting a cigarette.Almost every single thing we do ,we do it for that one glass of irresistable wine.ATTENTION.

SYMPATHY-When was the last time you felt bad that someone else was feeling bad for you??Every one loves it and that's just it.

EGO-You say you don't have it??You say your pride's not worth the sleepless nights you've had cause the girl dint call you back??(Not because she didn't,but because YOU did)That you don't feel like killing yourself for being so stupid again??That you didn't feel bad to borrow money from that one friend again??That your pride is something you are not proud of??

If not.You're a complete Jackass.Sorry.

LIES-Have you never ever lied??Can you tell me for sure,that you have not lied more that a couple of Hundred times?? or a couple of thousand times??

Everyone needs them.That's a Truth.

These were just small examples.I do hope you get the bigger picture.

You can always say that there are other things...like love and friendship.Like the smell of wet earth,a full moon...

Yes,there are.But I'm not in a mood to write about them :)

Sheesh!!!

2009-10-22T10:35:00.000-07:00

When is the only time you get bored of the wind blowing at your face???

When you spend two out of three days in a train.

The shabari express.Me,Mom,Dad and little Sister.
I cant say I wasnt dissapointed the first i saw them.I was hoping for a couple of cute girls to be besides us,and they turned out to be two freakishly large boys!!Intimidation to the maximum possible extent and self esteem on an all time low.

It felt like the gods were laughin...'HA HA HA ...YOU'RE LITTLE!!!'

Not that they were bad people,jus that i dont think huge people have got much brains.When was the last time you saw a sumo wrestler win the science fair??People that huge...they either run gymnasiums or own mutton shops(near Charminar).And so,they never need brains.I say its evolution.

You cant think???Get rid of the need to.
If boredom was a knife.I was stabbed.

The way back.

Cute girl at the seat opposite....WITH HER DAD!!!!
Cuter girl at the side....alone.
The whole journey in tormenting silence..SILENCE!!!!!

SHEESH!!!

If boredom was a knife...I was having an autopsy.

Yes,i know.The guy really does look a lot like me.

A Paper Boat

2009-10-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Oceans green under grey blue skies
I sail past with a broken mast
As time swirls a whirlpool by
I survive,on a paper boat
Blind is the captains eye

On the deck i stand,and stare
The sea spits salt and despair
I vomit back some curse at her
She bellows back,angered at my ire
We love this hate we share

Sunset lent some gold,i think
As the ocean turns to a yellow ,bright
A distant bird flies,
Smiles trickle down my face
As all my gods weep with joy

Nightfall sees a lone star twinkle,
My guitar sings to love
Moon smiles a mothers sigh
I play all night,as i know
The paper boat will sail along
This paper boat,called life

2009-09-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been awefull...really really awefull....

This one is for all those people who fear death

"In death,Everyone becomes famous"

Ironic,Isnt it??How you feel that a lot more people should know who you are,and then you are dead and it so easily comes true.Whispers ,News and Rumors flying around,Making you the person you always wished to be.Funny,Kind,Sweet,Caring,A good neighbour ,A wonderful Friend.All after you're gone.Ironic-That's exactly what life is.I think.

Death aint all that bad...especially if angels look like Russian Models.

Kill me!Kill me!Kill me!Kill me!Kill me!

:D

A sparkling trait of dust

2009-07-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

A sparkling trait of dust
of gloden dreams and lust

A gleaming river flows
and lo!the hour unfolds
As i dance through this life
with maiden 'trust' in the snows

A sparkling trait of dust
of gloden dreams and lust

Lights my morning skies
is my nightly love
Hope,my human grace
kills me sweetly,slow

A sparkling trait of dust
of golden dreams and lust

Fallen freinds shall call
in the rise of wailing dooms
Fighting foes shall weave,
Frightened cries in a room
Shall the night forever pray
behind twisted clouds and moons??

A sparkling trait of dust
of goldnen dreams and lust

Lips that tatse the seed
and fall in love again
Bodies on a raging hearth
and hearts that fend a gale
A rusted knife that feeds
on a heart that tells a tale

A sparkling trait of dust
of golden dreams and lust

It was....

2009-06-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

I never thought i'd do it.I never did...All the time that we were walkin,talking,holding hands and convincing each other that this was the best thing that happened to us.

Never,for one minute.No,not even for a second, did i think i'll kill her.

Pretty eyes.Prettiest.I could stare at them all day.I could talk to them ,i could stay in love with them.The voice...sweet voice....

We enjoyed venice.Newyork times said it was the most beautiful city built by man.I think its vegas.
She always told me i had no taste,i replied 'that'd explain you'.And we'd make love on the couch.It was she who dragged me there.Being from venice(los angeles).She always wanted to see the real thing.I cant deny i liked the place.

Venezia

With its canals,the gondolas ,the small islands...I liked it.I'd say it really was the best place.The second.I remember we were standing on a bridge and she sighed.I later learnt about the Ponte dei Sospiri, the 'bridge of sighs'

She was beautiful,and so was everything else....

Think..

2009-06-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

The bus rides really wear me off.and my sweet lil cousin brother had his hostel bout 32 miles from my place...32 long miles!!!

The next part of the post has no relation whatsoever.

One guy sitting next to me was shoutin his head off on a phone.Spittin at it,Grinding his teeth.At the end,he said ...'tu mereko missed call diya'.
If you looked at it one way,it was correct. He must have woke up that morning,yawned stretched,decided if wanted to take a leak and looked up into his awesome new GSM phone, which must have read "Mr. Smartass" with a 'U' pointing upwards saying "Missed call(1)"....

Russel peters once said "we indians are cheap" and i totally agree.I say,we being cheap even changed the language.No longer is a "Missed call" something that we have missed,no longer is it our fault.Its the other persons fault....it really is....was it supposed to be???

And since when did 'Tereko SIGHT hai??' actually start meaning that you CANT see prorper...??

I was walking down the street and the book shop said'all books available here'. There wasnt a single book in that shop that wasnt related to the 'JNTU engineering' syllabus.I wanted to yell my ass off .Tell him that books dot mean just pages you try to mug -up!!!I really did...but i reckoned my voice would be lost in the crowd..And so i didnt..

I started thinkin bout stupid things like 'missed calls' and 'sight' and misleading bookshops coz i might just be a stupid person...

But if you are not,try thinkin bout all the un-stupid things.....like about how working a day for bout 50 bucks in the tea shop might actually ruin that 5 year old girl.Like about how BASIC education can create a better life,like about how not throwing plastic on the streets might actually help some day,like about how literacy can bring about a civilised world,like about how proud a mother would be if her son could complete high school,like about how stupid you go when you are drunk,like about how wasted your life is when you smoke,like bout how a million whispers can make a noise,like about how we'd be much better off judjing ourselves more than we do others.

Like about how you HAVE to start thinking.Like about how YOU can make a difference...

I mean...32 bloddy miles?!!!!

Painted woods(part 1)-The bridge

2009-05-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

The birds were singing again.I hate it when they mock me like that... and they knew exactly when to do it.

The bridge couldn not take my weight.I had always been someone whose new pants always got too tight after sometime.I always needed new pants.New pants made me look good.

And i thought'maybe if i try to cross the bridge,it wouldnt break at all...and even if it does,i dont think i'll get washed off by the river..i can swim'.i saw him walking towards me,the skinny guy...and i remember the trees dancing.Weird.Trees werent supposed to dance.I dint like him much and i dont know why i did'nt either.i was a 'liker'. I liked everything...everything that dint make me think.

He was something of what i wanted to be.Smart.Funny.... Yes,i hated him from the start. We talked,not about bridge.I think he did not want to talk about the bridge.We talked about the river,the pebbles,the fish,the lands,the trees and the plunge.He told me he needed new pants too,his seemed to grow too big for him every other fortnight.
Then,we looked at the bridge.He told me i should not get on it.He told me it'd just make things worse for people like him.I punched him,told him all that i can do right now was to let him go first.I could hear to the roaches now,and all those wierd six legged creatures heaven would not let in.Creepy.There was one on the ground,it came for judgement.I sent it down to the furnace.The skinny guy had stepped on the bridge.The wind was trying to throw him off his feet.I was tempted to go too.The river would like his meat....Maybe,it would be like two friends gone out for an evening swim.The night was irksome now.Painted ink blue.I just wanted to go to sleep.
She would be waiting for me on the other side.Naked.In front of the fire.....

Untitled

2009-05-09T04:52:00.000-07:00

I walked down a road today
knew i not,what ahead lay
it took me along,sung me a song
with flickering lights along the way...
I walked down a road today

Darkness set in a pleasure new born
Shadows lengthened as lights died out
I looked up,as stars whispered
And trees talked back,
A gentle breeze..
I walked down a road today

Small,cold houses queued up aside
Stories unbound with each little stride
I stopped and gazed
As lizrads ran up their walls
and flies sung love,to a lone lantern...
I walked down a road today

Water reached the end of land,
handsome murk it carried along
Stretched reflections of light shimmered
Calling out my name,
In a daze i jogged,in a dream i fell
Woke up,
And then walked away...
I walked down a road today

As i strutted,on my way back
was cut across by the black fur(ed) Cat
And night witnessed it say,
"It's good luck,today!!"
I laughed aloud,
Until the lights swayed back in
And sang,as i walked back
Into the oblivion....

*Shrugs

2009-05-06T22:28:00.000-07:00

*Sometimes,youngistaan is totally lost and confused,and so,We are..

Jim carrey once asked his diary...."Why do i fall in love with every other girl who looks at me?"...or something like that....I say 'Excellent Question!'

NUMB.NUMB.NUMB

Know that sound you can hear after readin micro controllers for about 10 hours??As though someone jus set off a tuning fork in your brains.Thats exactly how i feel right now.I'm black,blank and totally confused.Guess i just feel myselves again

ZoZos...Eben...Football...Porn...

Random thoughts people!!I just cant seem to connect one with the other...Yes,Yes...Eben would make an excellent ZoZo.But still ..i feel like that little boy must have felt,when his mom first told him chocolates are bad for teeth.Confused again ...yes...

Movies...girls...*Shrugs

Its just like what that idiot must have said after makin the leanining tower of pisa.
I just cant get my head straight!!!!

I think i'll try some other time...Some other way...Some other drink....Some other girl..

Our sky so beautiful
the scent so sweet
your heart so tainted
and lies discreet

*Shrugs again

Adios Amigos!!

Yes..Yes...i know...i've watched happy feet :D

13/01/09 : Swearing is fun

2009-01-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

NOT FOR WEAK HEARTED LADIEjj....(As for bhai log,if you weak hearted,god help ya!!)

'Madarchod!maiya ke laude!upar dekhke gadi chalara be tu??Gand phodtum teri idhar aaa......'He went on for a little time actually,this guy driving the bike was hit by an auto.There was no apparent damage to him or the bike but he went on....The auto guy 'bein ke!! tereko puchke chlana ab main gaadi?tera baap banaya road be?.....'

It was fun,the 30 second show this people put on.I looked on from a bus and for that 30 secs ,forgot to swear at the traffic n the smoke n the honks!...I think those guys wont even remember each other in a tea shop tomorrow and that they have nothing against the other.I guess its just for fun,even for them.

I don't swear much and i don't swear less either(just like you keep doing other fun stuff, but take a break so that it still remains a fun thing).I think there are just a few ways its not fun..
a)when the other person doesn't like it
b)when you swear like a pussy.(you go on chanting swears without a break as though the break might just give you away..*that's hilarious and sad at the same time!)

Otherwise 'All curse is good curse'...(choot ke bhoot!laude ke baal!!gand mara!*some of my personal favorites*)

Girls who think i must be banned , i warned ya!
boys ....thank you !!

A Friend

2009-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

Let me ask you guys 'WHO is a friend?'
a)someone you are not so sure about but the time you have with them is the best!
b)someone you trust,someone you know will choose and wish the best for you.
c)someone who talks to you about everything,someone who insists YOU are a friend.
d)someone who makes you think and who knows what you are,what you thinking,ALWAYS.
e)(yes it has 'e' too) some one you can talk to about anything.
f)i don't know.

Right now, i think i'll say(after all those years and so many sworn friends!!)i actually dont know who my friend is.Ever since i started thinkin about this I've had different answers.In fact i've arranged those different answers in the chronological order in those options.I guess you can say that you've got friends of each of the kinds.Then,i'll just ask you "who's the best?Even if some are lucky enough to find all these in one single person , I guess,as time goes on ....the list of options will grow too.
A friend told me that a very impressive person said to him 'You don't have friends until your education gets complete,no one will turn up when you need them'. I guess he wanted to say 'Now is not the time to go loafing around with friends',And my friend did not seem angry, frustrated or surprised by the statement,rather calm actually.I guess he must have been thinkin about who his friends were too..You think and let me know if you come up with an answer.Its hard...real hard.

Bad bad boy

2009-01-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

No!no!no! I am not the "i'll kidnap your kid if you cane me ma'am" kinda bad.I am just saying that m jus a normal sadistic kid who is secretly glad if he scores more than his friends do(happens on rare occasions)the boy who gets angry at got coz he thinks he deserves much better than his buddies do.Yea i do get sad bout it sometimes.Its sad that my best friend scores a sweet lookin girl and looses his virginity way before i do!!it is!!Its sad that i am stuck being so thin that they said they'd fly ME this sankranthi,that I use one liners by my friends to impress someone(not always though),that i use the same lines again with different girls.I totally agree to all that. i do!! And i think almost everyone does them too.Think about your friend takin up your line and his girlfriend laughing on for hours on that....I can so assure you that you'll smile,n think (that bastard!)

All i ask people to do is to stop passing judgements upon people you know little or nothing about* a lesson i learned recent and late.You can be just as bitchy as dear old Rakhi.S or lookin just as sad as the 1980 maruti with neons underneath....trust me...

'Wats in a name!?'

2009-01-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

When i first thought i'd write in this personal public diary thingy that the virtual world was offering me, i spent a lot of time thinkin about the name...i did create one before this...n i named it 'black rain'(god!i must 've been drunk!)It was a little later that i realised that this name could define 'Wannabe'.And i dont like wannabe...n then i thought i'd be honest,play safe and smart....n i came up with 'curious for life' n on that my sister laughed a lot....n then i came up with 'intelligent stupidness' and i thought oxymorons come under the 1970 style catalouge.I really was getting nowhere with it.n then it hit me! the thing that truly shows what i am ,that shows the whole picture of me,the head,the toes,the teeth,the ass ,the everything was my name.I mean it is all in the name, for me my name is the only thing that describes me as a whole. N that makes me think(as i believe that everyones different),that maybe,my name is my adjective for life.Nothing less than 'he is sooooo rahul' could ever completely describe me.

And so i thought this personal public diary(the virtual me)has got to have my name on it...

2009-01-13T20:46:00.000-08:00

I think i'd like to start with a story actually...there was a boy(a kid)first grade i guess,who found that he had wetted his bed at night...he'd been dreaming that he was taking a piss(damn!it always makes him do that!)it was at around 3 in the morning when the wetness woke him up.he stared...he could already imagine the shame when his parents would find out.shame!shame!puppy shame(if anyone else did)it was sad....he thought for sometime,crept quietly into the only bedroom(he slept in the hall),smuggled out the iron(or iron box) and set to work...It was his first time and he was really scared of that hot big thing...but he did it...He ironed his piss right off the bedspread!!n then his trousers...he was gettin back to arranging the bed when he found the mattress wet too...fixing that was simple.he just had to overturn the mattress to the other side n no one would ever know.It wasnt that simple though.the mattress heavy,him small,but he did it alrite..panting n too young to swear, he overturned the mattress.he crept back to the bedroom,placed the iron back n started to go sleep..It was 3 45.not bad!n he must have grinned to himself.He noticed after sometime that the bedspread smelled...bad...he did the only thing he could think of..he spread VICKS on it,the whole part n slept like a log... or a dog(they sleep well too)
Anyways the next day,his mom just thought that the bedspread smelled funny.He was always unsure about what his mother must have guessed but he made sure that shame did not appear...
years passed and he grew,the cleverness grew too(i'd like to think) n the shame must have been nurtured into ego...I was that little kid..Rahul.J.nair(you can say i brag about this,infact i like to)